How many times have you wanted to say this to a woman and just didn't? Or couldn't? To be honest, it hasn't happened to me a lot, just enough...

I get so fed up with women thinking that just because I'm a man that I have to come out of my pocket for everything? How is it that women only want equal rights when it's convienient for them? I would like to be taken to a movie or to dinner too!

Do you have any idea how nice it would be if when I pulled into a gas station, the woman got out and paid while I sat in the car, in the rain, at night, in a fucked up neighborhood to put gas in MY car? And paid for it too? I'd do it for you! And you probably wouldn't have to ask me to do it. Why? It's just what a nice man does. Or so you women think.

It's getting hard out here. If you want nice things; if you want to go to nice places; you might have to ante up. If you've got Federal, I got state and local. Or some shit like that. If not, the next time you order something from the 'fucking' side of the menu, you know the one, the one without the prices on it.... you might get a suprise. 10 minutes after I excuse myself from the table to go to the men's room, you may recieve a phone call telling you I'm in the car, 5 blocks down the road. I know how to make do with the $1.00 menu at several fast food restaurants! Do you?

It's not even that I'm broke, or can't afford shit, it's like this: Why do women try to get all EXTRA on a man when we're taking them out? Why do you try and see just how much we're willing to spend on you? It's not all about the money. I'm spending TIME with your ass! Doesn't that count for something? I made the effort to make sure I had on an outfit that matched. I probably showered before I came to get you. Maybe I paid Merry Maids to clean the house before I brought you there so you didn't see anything that would offend your sensibilities when you walked in. Am I getting through to you yet?

All I'm saying is this: The quickest way to a man's heart is NOT through the wallet. Remember that.

I'll be awaiting your hate mail!

Big Shane

Men are NOT mind readers.

Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like
soap opera guys.

If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you
sad or angry, we meant the other one.

You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, NOT a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NO
idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't
want to hear.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such
topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
and Please
Pass this to as many women as you can!

Back with a vengence

Big Shane

Ahh, the good old Nunya Dam. It seems like I have to pay a visit here more often than I used to. It also seem like I go there most often with Shane Jr.'s mom. We've been apart for most of my son's life. What goes on in her life is her business. What goes on in my life should be my business. Why does it never seem to be that way?

It doesn't matter what the topic, she always has something to say. I stay relatively quiet about most of the things she does. And when I can't, I vent to people that she has no knowledge of. YOU GUYS! This way, nothing I say gets back to her. It's a beautiful thing. Why can't she find an outlet that won't get back to me.

I guess lately the thing is who I hang out with. She's never liked who I choose to be with. Big deal. I don't like who she's with either. The difference? I keep quiet about what I think. She doesn't. I won't say she liked the girl I was hanging out with, but she tolerated her. When prodded as to what my specific relationship was with this person, I told her that we're really good friends. No more no less.

One night while I was hanging out with my son, she came home and saw this person leaning against me. Now she's got all kinds of crap to say about it. Meanwhile, I'm cool about whomever she's with no matter what. But she claims that I'm setting a bad example for my son because the girl is younger than I am. Is that any worse than having 4-5 different men in her life in the same time that I've only had 1 significant other? I think not!

But it doesn't matter what I think. Now I can't see my son until she gets this particular hair from across her ass. Real fair. Why do women have all the power? Just because you take care of the child, doesn't make you a good mother. The quality of care should be taken into consideration too.

So now when I see her, I have to take her to Nunya Dam. Every question she asks me elicits the same response. "Nunya Dam business".

Back on the Stream

Big Shane

I was having a conversation with someone about a site I'm considering hosting. It pretty much follows the same format as this blog, but I would be moderating live chatroom issues as well as a few other things.

Anyhoo, the conversation turned to women. Not surprising seeing as I was talking to a man. But somehow the topic switched to support. My theory has always been 'just pay that shit'. His was different. So different, I had to write about it.

I don't mind paying child support. I made the children, I should be responsible for taking part in the raising of them. He agreed. How much to pay was the issue. This is something I had never really thought about.

In Connecticut, you pay according to how much you make. That changed slightly. Now the judge can make you pay up to 40% of your income. That sucks. Basically, you fill out a financial affidavit and the judge takes it from there. I can't complain. I pay roughly $400.00 a month for two children. $86.00 a week for my daughter of 10. $14.00 dollars a week for my son. Sounds unfair, but I see my son more often and have the opportunity to spend more on him directly.

Once again, I'm not complaining. My situation is good. There are others making less than I do, and paying more. But dig this... How much money does it take to raise a child? Costs vary depending on where you live and what you do to make a living, but I've found that you can do a little with a lot. Here's where the drama comes in.

Women try to make you look so bad in court. They'll put on their worst looking clothes in an attempt to look destitute. The babies will look like hell. You never know what lengths some women will go to. Why? Because they're trying to get paid! They want it all. The cars, the kids, the crib, and the dog! They want it all! And you're probably going to have to give it up.

When women go to court, even before they go to court, they've talked to, e-mailed, or called several girlfriends to help get them prepared. They're cut-throat, dirty, calculating people. You couldn't imagine the network they have. Every woman knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows how to beat the system. They'll lie on the stand, to the judge, the prosecutor, and even GOD himself to get their way.

It shouldn't have to be that way. Get help from who you can, but don't forget to help yourself! I bust my ass daily to live the way I do. Why should I have to give up my ends because she doesn't work, and needs my money to make it. The judge will tell the MAN that he has to find a place to live where the rent is less, the bus is closer, or whatever. Just get that money! Why don't they tell the women the same shit?

I'm paying to support Shane Junior, not you. If you can't pay your rent, MOVE. If you can't afford your car, WAlk. Don't ask me for more money. I don't have it! Make do with what you got. If you can't, get a job! Do something. Stop waiting for a handout! There, I've said it. Let the hatemail come in.

Big Shane

Back in the Stream