After taking all this time to actually get together and make it 'official', we're on hold. What the fuck is that actually? On hold. It's so sterile. I half expect to hear MUZAK playing in my mind.

The weird thing is this: Nothing's changed.

We did it for all the right reasons. She's going to school. With her classes and going to work, she has enough to juggle without worrying about catering to a boyfriend and his whims. MY whims.

A certain friend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend. Even though she tried to make it sound good, it was total bullshit. Now I find myself wondering if my situation is the same. It sounds good on the surface, but deep down does it have any validity?

Hell, fuck deep down, does it have any validity? I'm not sure. Was I just giving lip service in an attempt to be the bigger person? Do I really want to be 'on hold'? I'm not sure. No other offers have presented themselves to me. I don't think any will. There is the Libby thing, but I haven't written about that yet.

I've got to think about this for a while. If anyone has a similar experience, holla back.

Big Shane

I've noticed in my own and several other men's relationships that we as men lose a lot. There's different reasons for the loss, but it's all loss. I'll give a few examples.

Before a woman came into the relationship, we had a bed. Now we are lucky to have a 'side' on the bed we bought. My 'side' used to the middle! I remember this clearly. Now that I think about it, I enjoy sleeping in the middle. Not only have I lost real estate, she picks the side she wants. What the hell is that?

Do you know what else we lose? Our possessions! This is especially hard for men to deal with. We love our stuff. What's one of the first things women like to take from us? You guessed it. And it's not like they want it, they just don't see the need for us to have it.

The car that we spent countless dollars on turning it into the ultimate race car gets turned into a minivan. 'Nuff said.

And when did all women turn into personal trainers? I appear to be on some crazy diet. I haven't been able to enjoy a whole meal by myself since day one. Every time I eat, she has to have a tiny bite of this, or a little sip of that. My theory is: If you want some, I'll buy you your own. Her theory is: I'll just share yours. Dammit, I don't want to share!

And then there's the changing we have to go through. We can't watch porn anymore because she doesn't like it. Bitch, I was watching porn before I even knew you! Why should I change now? Going out late with the fellas? Yeah right!

And why do we have to give all this up? PUSSY! Personally, I'd rather just masturbate than give up all my stuff. But I'm not even allowed to do that anymore! Shit!

Big Shane

I want to see Donuts nekked! After reading her blog since October of last year, I think I deserve to see her nekked. She writes all these sexy posts telling us about things she's done, or continues to do.... Now I don't know about you, but if she really is 100 years old, and has the physical prowess to climb trees & jump fences, she's got to have one hell of a physique!

I considered sending her a picture of my penis to break the ice. I was going to do it, but I got all confused. She accepts these pictures, but she has rules that you have to follow. I don't know whether to send it alone with my name, or do I send a head shot (ha ha, that's funny) along with the pic? Does my penis have to have a name? (I currently call it 'penis') And does all this guarantee that I will get the picture of her in return?

I don't want to name drop, but I know of at least one other person who would like to see Donuts in the buff. I don't want to have to go there, but if I have to, I will. Nah, I'm just kidding. I wouldn't do that to Adam. (did I just?...)

Anyhoo, that's all for now. I'll keep you abreast (i made another funny!) of the progress I'm making.

Big Shane

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish...................................49
Adventurous........................Slept with everyone
Athletic...............................No tits
Average looking...................Ugly
Beautiful............................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile.................Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure..............On medication
Feminist.............................Fat
Free spirit...........................Junkie
Friendship first.................Former slut
Fun...................................Annoying
New-Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned....................No BJs
Open-minded......................Desperate
Outgoing............................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate........................Sloppy drunk
Professional......................Bitch
Voluptuous.......................Very Fat
Large frame......................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate..................Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want..
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

I stayed up with you all chatting away in the Lobby. At some point I drifted off. When I woke up I had this strange desire to set up my new scanner. After talking to Angel for a while, I finally got it done. Can't go to bed now, have to see if this thing works!

It is now, 5 o'clock in the morning. I can't see shit, and I'm typing like it's my first day in business computers class. Thank GOD for spellcheck!

Anyway, instead of trying to come up with something for you all to read, I decided to post some new pics in my gallery. I'll post them here too. Why? Because I just thought of it!

Leave me alone! I'm tired!

Big Shane





Now can you see why I was so pissed? What kind of man could find it in him to hurt such a beautiful child?

I haven't written anymore about it because the police said not to. It would appear that the bastard can read, and they don't want anything to get out before they do something. When it's all over, I'll let you know.

And I"m out!