The He-Man Woman Haters Club by Wilson Fisk

If I loved any of these women, it would have to be Marya. She was my first real relationship. Although we lived at her parent's house, we had our own space. Our room was right next to her parent's. The only thing between us was a wall and opportunity, but you would never know it. It was like the whole house was ours, and her parents were just an afterthought.

I don't know what it was about her. She made everyday special. Even when I was pissed at her, I still loved her. It was an odd feeling. She really could do no wrong. Whatever she did was forgiveable. Why? I'm not sure, but it had something to do with how she made me feel. I was her everything. She made me feel like I was the most important thing in her universe. At times it had a Fatal Attraction sort of vibe, but even then I knew I was her sole focus.

I attribute this time to when I began to get fat. She made it known that she wasn't sharing me. She actually told me that she got me fat on purpose so no other woman would want me. Dayum. The shit worked too!

Distance killed this relationship more than anything else. Sure there were other things, but the miles between us did more damage than any other thing. Part of me still wishes I was with her. Good thing I listen to my brain over my heart.

Teasha came next. I honestly don't know what the fuck I was thinking of when I hooked up with her. Love? Never had it, never will. More than anything else, our time together began my financial downfall. I would make the money. She would spend it. At the time, I had a little extra money. Enough to get a job and begin to live within the law and still be comfortable. She killed all that. And even when I showed her an alternate way to make money, she couldn't live within those boundaries. There was just never enough.

While money is the worst thing to argue about in a relationship, when that's all you have in that relationship it's what holds you together. It would have taken money dipped in crazy glue, liquid nail, and 5 second epoxy to keep us together. We had no mutual interests at all. How we lasted as long as we did is beyond my comprehension.

As a side note, this is where my Big Daddy persona began to evolve. I'll get to that in a different post on a different day, but here is definately where my other self was born.

Teasha represents what I despise in women. She is the role model for the basic idea behind the He-Man Woman Haters Club. I don't hate all women. Just ones that act like her. Again, more on that later.

Ashley. Now here's an interesting one. I did love this one. I loved her more than I love strawberry jelly on my breakfast toast. She was special. We shared everything. We had what I thought was the bomb relationship. It could get no better. At least that's what I thought.

I don't know when the exact date was, but early in our relationship she decided that fidelity just wasn't her thing. She was smooth about it. I never knew when she was out doing her thing. Love had me appropriatly blinded. It took a blowout between her and her girlfriend to occur before I was even aware of what she was doing. But after that, it was over.

We kept it together for another 4 years, but it wasn't the same. She stopped hiding what she was doing. Well, not really. She was still sort of discreet. But when she did get caught, she was like, 'So. If you don't like it, you can leave me.' Why didn't I leave her ass? I was dating the whore of Babylon and couldn't let go. How can I be such a dumb ass?

There was a time when I would have taken a bullet for this woman. That time is over. There are some residual feelings that still exist. But I believe I have finally gotten over her. She likes to tell me about her current sex life and how good it is. Although she says she's not comparing me to him, I know better. She's using one of my irrational fears to her advantage. While I don't want to hear about the shit she does, I'm glad she tells me about it. It's what gives me the power to finally see her for who and what she really is: A self serving, inconsiderate, manipulative whore. Dayum that feels good to get out!

I write these things about these women not for shock value. I may want to apologize later. Much later. This is what I feel now. At this moment, this is as real as it's going to get. I generally hide behind comedy. I usually don't write about what I really feel. I've got to stop doing that.

I've lived to see the dawn. And guess what? It's all about me!

Big Shane