Holy shit. I haven't posted in a week and a day. I spend so much time reading and commenting that I forget to write anything myself. This has got to stop. Some of you poor bastards need the information contained within the Club House. How are you going to get it without me here to deliver it? You're not! That's how. You can't get it anywhere but here. And don't you forget it.

Oops. I was power tripping just a little bit... My bad.

While I'm awaiting Muffingeddon, I figure I'll spread a bit more of my shit. Here goes.

If Kristin, a.k.a. RoaringFroggy is married, I don't want to know. Don't tell me. Keep it to yourself. Let me be in denial. However, if she's not, feel free to give me as much information about her as humanly possible. And for those of you with other worldly powers, warlocks, masters of the universe, masters of insect kung-fu, parents... do what you can too. It can only help.

To my overseas people: Rosie, Woolly, and any others I haven't yet met. What the fuck is vegemite? I've been curious about this since the 80's when Men At Work mentioned it in their song 'Land Down Under'

Hetzie: Start watching porn. It's good for you. Especially the end parts!

SpringMoon: You are quite possibly the most beautiful person on the planet. That is all.

MizMacey: Please stop wasting your time ass-boxing with whoever it is that is bothering you. I used to enjoy reading your blog. Now it reads like bad daytime television. I hate daytime television. Let's get back to the steamy adults only entertainment that you used to provide.

NightBug: Has anyone seen pictures of this woman? I would be proud to take an ass-whipping from her! Just keep that dog away from me. What do you feed that thing?

SpringMoon: Still beautiful!

Sad_lil_Angel a.k.a. Trisha: There's a lot of jaded people here lately. We need some of your originality back in the chatroom. Come back! And I still want my pic!

Zappa: The silence that roars! Nothing more to say about that! Have you seen SpringMoon? She's beautiful!

Has anyone seen my Viagara? I think I dropped it somewhere...

Dim and Dimmer: Good to have you aboard. Your invites to become members should be in the mail soon. (he said members)

Big Al: Could you do anything to 'steer' a certain Froggy my way? If I'm not mistaken, I think the two of you talk. If the truth doesn't do it, LIE! I must have this woman!

I know there's a lot of you I didn't mention. That shit's not on purpose. So don't go giving me a lot of shit about it. I'll get to you later. If you notice, I didn't even mention Donuts and her sexy ass! And I always mention Donuts. And her sexy ass! So chill! You'll get your chance. Dayum! (overbearing, inconsiderate, pushy, assholes)

Welcome back, my inner monologue. I don't know where he's been lately, but he can go the fuck back whenever he's ready!

That's all for now. I'm getting tired of looking at this screen. If anyone can manage, I wouldn't mind having my background look like the Punisher, or Johnny Blaze. If anyone has any skills, holla.

Big Shane

P.S. About SpringMoon.... If GOD made anything sexier, he kept it for himself!

In the interest of equal time, I had to post one for the ladies...


WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN

Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you're gone.
Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
Dogs don't criticize your friends.
Dogs admit when they're jealous.
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
Dogs do not play games with you--except Frisbee (and they never laugh at how you throw).
Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
You can train a dog.
Dogs are easy to buy for.
You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.
The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
(OK. The *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.)
Dogs understand what no means.
Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
Dogs admit it when they're lost.
Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE ALIKE

Both take up too much space on the bed.
Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
Both are threatened by their own kind.
Both mark their territory.
Both are bad at asking you questions.
Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.
Neither does any dishes.
Both pass gas shamelessly.
Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
Both like dominance games.
Both are suspicious of the postman.
Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.
Neither understands what you see in cats.

HOW MEN ARE BETTER THAN DOGS

Men only have two feet that track in mud.
Men can buy you presents.
Men don't have to play with every man they see when you take them around the block.
Men are a little bit more subtle.
Dogs have dog breath all the time.
Men don't shed as much, and if they do, they hide it.
And the number one reason dogs fall short...
It's fun to dry off a wet man !!!!!!!! (If you're a woman that is !!!)

Want more traffic? The next time you read someone's blog, try leaving a comment. I know I'm not the only person who thinks this way. If you leave a comment on my blog, you have just assured that I will visit your blog. I don't care if you tell me my blog sucks. Just leave something. I will in turn check your blog out to see if yours sucks too.

Give it a try.

Big Shane

There is someone here in the stream that makes me feel so special. I have never 'seen' this person, but I know she's beautiful. When she enters the room everyone seems a bit dimmer in her light. She is truly one of the rare angels that have dropped from heaven.

I'm not going to drop names here. I just want you all to know that special people are out there. Some of you here are looking for love. Wether or not you admit it to yourselves, I know this to be true. Love can be found here. Just take your time and don't rush it.

Before this gets all twisted, I'm not in love. At least not with a person. I'm in love with the way this person makes me feel. If they want to parlay that into something more, they know how to reach me. And vice-versa.

It's late. I'm tired. I'll holla at you next time. And don't get too comfortable with these posts of mine you've been reading. I've got more venom to unleash. I'm just waiting for the right topic to address itself to me.

Big Shane

Those who do not feel me are not real to me. Therefore they don't exist. So poof, vamoose son of a bitch!