And why are you looking anyway?

This is part of a discussion that happened today in the shop. This asshole asked me when was the last time I saw my dick. As outraged as I was, I had an answer. I told him I saw it last night when it was coming out of his mom's mouth. Mean? Maybe. Uncalled for? I'm not sure. Even if it was only within myself, it started a dialogue. A dialogue that continues to run through my head. As fucked up as the question is, it's all I can think about...

During the course of my day I do a lot of weird shit. One of the weirdest things I do is use the bathroom. In the morning I look like something out of nekked gymnastics monthly. Everyone knows the male 'condition' when we wake up. Parts of us get up earlier than others. When you have to go to the bathroom, that can be a problem. Every man on the planet has his own way of dealing with it. At first, I tried to just go as I normally would. It only took a few times of peeing on the floor and toilet paper at the same time to figure out that normal wasn't going to work. So now if you see me in the morning, you can generally find me with one leg holding the door shut, and the other leg against the heater in as deep a split as I can get into. This is the only position I can make a successful pee pee. Sad but true. Even sadder is the fact that my son asks me one day, 'dad, why don't you just sit down and point it down?'. I hate him!

I may have gotten off topic for a minute, but it's all relevant. If I could just see my dick, I wouldn't have to have a morning gymnastics routine to empty my bladder. When was the last time I saw my dick? Maybe I should put up posters around the neighborhood with a huge reward for anyone who's seen it...

There was a time when I saw it all the time. All I had to do is look down and there it was, ready for whatever. Over time, I saw less and less of it and just stopped caring. I knew it was there. Or at least I was pretty sure. I think.

Fuck it. I guess I have to go back to the gym and work off some of this weight. It's going to take a while to get to the final goal, but I'll start slow. I'll know I'm making progress when I can see my feet. How sad is my life?

Fisk: OUT!

Love me, or hate me, to anyone with kids of any age, here's some advice.

Feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and this set them up for failure in the real world.

Here's 11 real world rules:

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will
expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine
about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they
are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but
life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off
>> > and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Before I take any credit or blame for this, these 11 rules were made up by Bill Gates. I think the man may know what he's talking about.

Fisk: OUT!

I have nothing to say today. When I do, I'll let you know.

Fisk: OUT!

I wish I had a picture of Adam Warlock's dick. Why? So I could tell some people that they need to get off of it! It appears that Adam's dick is the new welfare, and half of you bitches are on it! It makes me sick!

You may have noticed that Adam has deactivated his blog 'What would you do'. This pisses me off! Everyday for over a year now I've been navigating to his blog to see what he's written. When I tuned in yesterday to see what he was up to I found that I couldn't. This upset me to such a degree that I placed a call to his house at 10:30pm to see what was wrong. When he told me, I was even more pissed.

I guess whoever monitors such things noticed that Adam has an inordinate amount of visitors to his site. So! Good for him. At least that's how I thought of it. Everyone not being me, some people saw this as a bad thing. They thought it was so bad that they made up some shit about him using a program that would generate fake visitors to increase his popularity. Are you kidding me?

Just to let you know, Adam has a job, 2 young children, a wife, and an overprotective friend in Connecticut to worry about. Do you really think he gives a shit about some fucking numbers game? Do you really think he cares about where he is on some popularity list? If you do, get your head from out of your ass!

Adam writes what he feels like writing. He doesn't cater to the masses. He's been here forever, and has generated a following. That's how this thing works. You put in time, you get numbers. While there are some people that will go to ridiculous lengths to get people to check them out (i hear one guy showed his nut sack...) , Adam isn't one of those people.

In closing, instead of fucking with my boy, get a life! Fuck that, you're better off dead! Asshole!

Fisk: OUT!

I hated doing homework in school. If my teachers looked like Angie, maybe I would have done better!

Anyhoo, here it is...

Fisk: OUT!