In today's world of equal rights where women can do everything a man can do (and sometimes better), there remains an arena where women can't compete with us....

HANDJOBS!

It's such an easy thing to do. Most men do it on a regular basis. Fuck most men, I do it everyday without fail! I might not scrape my fangs, brush my wig, put on deodorant, or change my underwear, but you can believe me when I tell you this: I beat my shit everyday! Hell, most mornings I don't even get to open my eyes before I've had some 'personal time'. (I call that the Wake and Shake.)

I've got it all set up. I've got a face cloth on my pillow (presumably because I drool). I like to keep that close to insure that I don't have to open my eyes. All I have to do is reach, and there it is.

Excuse me, I didn't mean to share that much...

Why don't women get it. This shit ain't rocket science. All we need is friction. Up, down, repeat. Simple. Ask a girl to do that and she gets it all fucked up. The up stroke is too long and she loses her grip. The down stroke is too long and she ends up smashing your balls. WTF?

I've only me two girls in life that can give a proper handjob. One is named Palmala, the other is Handgela. They're better known as my right and left hands. They don't complain about me wanting it all the time. They don't mind when in a fit of exuberance they get a little on them. No problem. Wash, rinse, dry, lotion. All good.

That's all for now. Next up... Steak and a blowjob day!