I take long showers. I frequently take long showers. The reasons for this behavior differ. There's always a reason. Sometimes.

Due to stress, I don't sleep well. There may be other reasons for this, but stress is probably the biggest reason. I wake up on a bad night about 4 to 6 times with an uncontrollable urge to shower. I know I'm clean, but that changes nothing. Lather, rinse, repeat. And repeat. And repeat. Then once I feel clean again, I just stay in the shower until the hot water no longer exists.

Did I say hot water? Damned near boiling is more like it. I guess somewhere in the recesses of my mind I think the hotter the water, the better the clean. As is, my shower has 4 settings. Cold, Hot, Damned Hot, and Hell. My water always seems to be hoevering in the middle of Hell. Then when it starts to get cool, I put it all the way to Hell to rinse off.

Sometimes I do have reasons for showering the way I do. I have bad dreams. Lots of them. When I wake up, it's always the same way. In a cold sweat. It's times like these when showers serve multiple purposes. I get clean. I warm up. And the water hides the tears that I may be crying.

Sad to say, my dreams are that bad. They always seem to involve me losing what means the most to me. My children. Maybe by keeping the water so hot I can travel to the place where these dreams must originate. Why does my hell have to be so personal?

That's all for now. I've got to go to Mom's house and get the rest of my things. As if I have some place to put them. And just my luck, it's cold out. Alas, my never-ending cycle never ends.

2 weeks after my son was born I got a vasectomy. Believe me it was the best thing I ever did. I did it without my then significant other's knowledge. And I'm glad I did. Why? Because she is the most ignant, trifling, self-serving bitch on the planet. And that's just on the weekends!

When you go get your vasectomy they ask you a few questions. One of the most important things they ask you is why you want this procedure. My answer: I don't like children and don't want to have any more. Good enough.

After assuring that my insurance was going to cover the goings on, they strapped me in. I was given a local anesthetic. I thought they would put me under, but no such luck. They told me I was lucky. Sure... Fortunately I had worked the previous night and was doing this first thing in the morning after work, so I fell asleep anyway. 45 minutes later, they were waking me up and telling me I was free to go.

Before I could make my get away there were some things I needed to know. I was given the list of things to do right after I left the office, and a list of things NOT to do. Furthermore, the Doctor wanted to ask me some additionsl questions before I left.

It would seem that while I was asleep I had diarhea... of the mouth. I was talking shit like it was my job! The main focus of my shit talking was my son. At the time he was 2 weeks old. The doctor, (with no praamble I might add) asked me what a Keep a Nigga Baby was. Embarrassed as I was, I had to explain it to him. Just like I'm going to explain it to you now.

Quite simply, a Keep a Nigga Baby is a child that a woman has when she wants to keep a man, (presumably the father) in her life. This usually occurs when 2 people of differing financial backgrounds get together and do someting stupid. It's not always as clear cut as that. Obviously the neighborhood crack whore would want to keep a Bill Gates type guy. Sometimes it's more subtle. In my case, it was the neighborhood hood-rat trying to keep a guy that was known to have a job and be a good man.

His curiosity satiated, he let me leave. I swear he was trying to work Keep a Nigga Baby into his advertising. That would be one hell of a commercial!

As I said before, my 'baby mama' didn't know I was getting this done. Good thing too. I never trusted the girl. I was initially going to hit it and quit it. You know, bone her and never call her again. Rude? Yes. But completly honest. One day she strolls into the house and tells me in her most sugary voice, 'baby guess what? we're pregnant!' That was all I needed to hear. She went out to tell her friends the news, and before she came back, I had moved all my things and gotten a one bedroom apartment on the other side of town. SLUT!

She didn't find out for weeks after that about my vasectomy. When she did, she had nothing. Nothing to do, nothing to say. It was beautiful! She knew I wouldn't roam too far. She had Shane Jr. And because of him I'm still around. The Keep a Nigga Baby serves his purpose. Don't get me wrong. I love Jr. I just wish that he was concieved in love. His mother and I never loved each other. After 7 years, we're just finally figuring out how to get along civil like.

Moral of the story? There is none. Don't make babies with people you don't like! Duh.

How could you not love that face?

Together, women don't stand a chance!

Well there it is. The first post of the new year. Gimme what you got!

I want you all to know that the He-Man Woman Haters Club will be going through some changes for the 2007 year. I don't like to make resolutions that I'm just going to either break, or not follow, so I'm not going to do that. What I will do is list a few things that I will adamantly TRY to accomplish. Note: These do not pertain to my personal life, just my blog.

I will try to write more and more often.

I will try to make my topics less offensive. Maybe.

I will allow more sensitive subject matter to grace my pages.

I will try to comment more.

I will try to answer the comments that I recieve.

I will try to finish my 100 things.

I will try to sign more people's guest books.

I will try to make a choice. Kristin or Night Bug.

I will try to stop being a man-whore, or at least make some money doing it.

No more pictures of my Dangling Participles! Unless such a thing is requested.

I will try to put fewer people on blast.

I will try to save at least 1000 dollars for my trip to Japan.

I will try to make my screen name appear as Wilson Fisk.

I will try to be more tolerant of Hetzie reading over my shoulder.

I will try to increase my involvement in the World Domination Army.

I will try to go to the chatroom more.

That's all for now. More shit may follow. Holla back if you know of anything that you personally would like to see in The He-Man Woman Haters Club.

And I'm out this bitch!

How do you show someone that you love them? Saying 'I love you' has become so everyday that almost no one does it, and when they do it's recieved with the same response anyway... 'I love you too'. How boring! As if neither person could think of anything original to say to the other.

There are special cases. If you're with someone that doesn't say it at all, and then from seemingly out of nowhere you're hit with the L-Bomb, that's probably real.

What I've noticed lately is people 'showing' their love for one another. This is done in a myriad of ways that range from sweet to ewww.

Flowers: Usually a good idea. While working in an office, I saw several women send them to themselves in an attempt stir up a little commotion, or incite jealousy. How shallow do you have to be? While still a good idea, it's sort of a knee-jerk reaction type thing. You can do better.

Diamonds: What woman wouldn't want them? Nice try. Now try saying I love you in an way that doesn't jeopardize the rent!

Chocolate: Are you kidding me? Chocolate has it's own issues with being used as a substitute or a comforter... Don't go there.

Puppies/animals: They start out cute, but then they become what they really are, dependants. These things cost money! If you're not prepared to take care of it, don't give it as a gift. (Sorry Misty)

Don't get me wrong. All thses choices are really good. But you can't and shouldn't show your love with a monetary gift. And the points you get for being creative are worth more than you can imagine. Try a few of these:

Bubble baths: Alone or together, this very intimate gift is always welcome. It shows that you took time to think of her. Especially if the water is scented with her favorite scent, or has rose petals or candles floating atop of it. Caution: This is a gateway gift. It can lead to other things. Enjoy!

Dinner: Eat it. Prepare something for her. Even if you burn the hell out of it, you tried! The effort more than the end result is what's noticed here. But if you do manage to pull it off...

Back/Body rubs: Do I really have to explain this one? I thought not!

Any of these things alone is good. When used in conjunction with one another, even better. Hell, you can even use things from the first group with these. Go nuts! And when you have a good night after you try these things, don't forget to say thanks to the Kingpin!

I just got my internet connect hooked up today. I'm happy once again! Although it does sadden me to see that I missed a gala extravaganza here on Blogstream. I promise, for the next few months at least, I'll be there for the people who depend on me. Hell, I'll even be there for the people who just want me to be around! I like them better anyway!

I've got some things written down that really need to be posted. It's amazing how much you want to write when you can't! Oh, and Hetzie has some cool shit to get off of her chest too! Check her out at My Way to Vent.

I'm done for now. It's good to be back. See you all soon.