I'll probably get ripped out the frame for this, but it has to be said. Although most of the women here are beautiful, we (the men of blogstream) should really be careful. These women are dangerous!

I'm not going to mention names because then they'll know it was me that ratted them out. Just let it be known that there was at least one Nurse, an infantile Angel, and one other that poses as Lady Death. Hell, I was so terrified I nearly boo-booed on myself! It's a wonder I remember anything.

I don't know what they were talking about specifically. But what I saw was shocking. Only my highly developed 8th sense (the one that doesn't trust women) kept me alive. While I was making sure that I wasn't the planned victim of their violence, they attempted to lull me into a false sense of security. While 2 of them were telling me they loved me, one of them (the Angel) was creeping up behind me with a tube of glue! I don't know what she intended to do with it, and I didn't stay to find out! Like a boner in boxer shorts, I was OUT!

I'm going to end this here. I've probably already said too much. I don't know if my boyz are going to be able to have my back on this one. I can usually count on Adam for backup, but he lives with one of the W.O.B. (women of blogstream). I don't know how deep the corrpution goes. Stay tuned to this blog for updates when I get them. I'm risking it all to make sure that this site's safety isn't compromised. Wish me luck.

Kingpin out!

I was going to post something nice. Maybe something about little children and how to properly beat them without DCF showing at your door. But it seems that I was challenged. And since it clearly states in the He-Man Woman Haters Club bylaws (chapter 3, subsection 4, article 6) that no He-Man Woman Hater shall turn down a challenge from a woman without due cause, I have to step up and represent for the fellas!

In other words: Dreww, Blogstream is small, and I'm one of the big fish! Ya betta ask somebody!

I'm just playing. Here's my contribution to the world about anal sex.

To be quite honest, I was never into anal. In my opinion, anal sex only belonged in two places. Butt Man videos (which my brother Mike loves), and prison. I just didn't see it as necessary or even interesting. But like most things, time passes, things change.

One day, the s.o. and I were discussing our sex life, and butt lovin' came up. At first I was averse to it. I may not have the longest penis in the world, but I do have girth. I wasn't worried about getting it in. I was concerned that my sweetheart's anus wouldn't recover too well. If you've ever watched an anal video, you know what I mean. I've seen a few girls get their O-rings blown out doing this shit. They don't snap back! After the dick is out of them, there's this ginormous gaping hole. I didn't want my girl to walk around like that. What if she had to poop? It would just fall right out! That could be inconvienient as well as hard to explain to company.

Anyhoo. We decided to do the damned thing. We went to the dirty book store and picked out some lube. Flavored of course. I had no intentions of putting my mouth near her poop chute, but you never know.... Not to mention, I was concerned about odor problems. Call me ignorant, but this is the place where shit comes out right? If it comes out, I'd rather it smell like cherries than.... (than shit I guess) what it normally smells like.

First off, wash your asses! Even though you're about to explore this cave, you don't want any stalagmites, or stalactites in the way. Especially if you plan on eating the ass. (tossed salad anyone?) I don't know what you're used to, but I don't consider dingleberries an appetizer. When you wash your ass, make sure you get up in there. When it comes to the ass, even YOUR dick is bigger than you think it is. Soap up, and handle your business. Put your finger in the rim of it. Go to the first knuckle. It only feels weird for a second or two.

Time to do it. She's tense. I'm nervous. But nothing is going to stop this. After putting in work in the traditional ways, we decide to get to it. Several nervous failed attempts to get it in later, it finally settles in. I was ready for the scream. In my mind I pictured the cops busting in and finding us there. Frozen solid. Stuck. That didn't happen. What actually happened was worse. Since I didn't know any better, I went at it like I would the vagina. Sure I was cautious at first. But when I could finally get it all in, I started going to town! That was bad.

I ripped her perineum! Not good at all! In my shock, (not used to seeing blood in the bed) I just sat there like some idiot looking at something shiny. That was the end of that. Sort of. For about a week I had to hear about how her grippers were shot. It appears that her ass wouldn't close up. Dammit, my original fear come back to haunt me.

It turns out, there's a method to the whole ass fucking thing. You have to be gentle. Your main job is too keep it hard enough to get in. Being that we're men, this could be harder than it sounds. To be completely honest, I got bored. It wasn't going in. I was losing interest.

If your girlfriend still likes you and how you look nekked, she may be wet enough to not need any lube. But if you're married, and you're only doing this because you're too lazy to turn the heat on, get some good lube. I recommend Wet Platinum. It's water based, so you can use it in full confidence without worrying about ruining the sheets. It's a bit expensive, but totally worth it.

Now you're all lubed up and ready to go. Don't just rush in there. Remember the perineum. It rips really easy. Not to mention it's just in bad taste to run up in someone you say you love. This ain't prison, you sick over-anxious fucker!

Take your time. Listen to the woman. You're going to need all of your attention on the job at hand right now. She'll let you know what stroke she's comfortable with. Besides, you've got your own problems now. The ass is a lot tighter than the pussy. Especially if your girl is all banged out and has more beef curtains than the local butcher. Don't expect to last too long the first time. Any time in is time well spent.

The next thing to remembner is to remember where your dick is. There are a few things you can, but shouldn't do. Do not blow your load in her bunghole. Unless you know she doesn't mind. It taks a few days before all those wasted babies will drain from her rectum. The back can be a bad idea too. If you're not used to ass fucking, the resulting orgasm can catch you off guard. You may think you're about to splash off on her back and find out you're just ruined her hair! Don't ask questions, just trust me on this one!

The last thing is this. Ass to mouth is okay. A lot of women won't do it. Just remember who the fuck you are. You're Joe Nobody. If she doesn't want to taste your dick, whick was presently in her ass, let it go. Find a way to lick your own dick, lick it, and then come back and you try it.

Thats all for now. It's late and I've got shit to do in the morning. If provoked, I will finish this damyumed post. So unless that happens. Kingpin out!

Before I even get started, this is in no way related to any of the women in my life.

When I begin a post with an exemption you know this thing is going to contain some FIRE! Men, get somewhere safe and get your stories straight. I'm about to blow the roof off this mother fucker!

Ladies. Have you ever wondered why your man has the need to go to sleep right after sex or head? (especially head) There's a very good reason for this. I know it seems unlikely, but the real reason is simply because he's tired! Can it really be that easy? Yes! The Kingpin wouldn't lie to you. He's tired. That shouldn't be the hard part to believe. The real question lies in WHY is he so tired. Here's where it gets fun.

When a man is serving you, he's obviously putting in work. There's movement, action, and all kinds of physical activity going on. When he's done, he can be a bit tired. That's okay. Especially if it was enjoyable for you. Now ask yourself a question. Were the lights on or off? We'll get back to that in a moment.

As I said earlier, the sex act can be tiring. What about head? All the guy has to do is lay back and enjoy it right? Now if his whole function is to just BE THERE, what is it about the orgasm that saps all of his strength? Is it that powerful? Again, I ask you to ask yourself a question. Were his eyes open or closed? Does it matter? Hell yes! Why? Well, that's why you're reading this!

Men are simple creatures. Simple, unappreciative, lusty creatures! Simple and lusty you might be able to understand. The important part as far as this post is concerned is the unappreciative part. Dig it.

No matter who we're with, we always want to be with someone else. The sex can be off the wall and we'll still be the same way. The reason we get so tired is because during sex we're doing something that you women may not believe. We're THINKING! Sounds crazy right? I wish it was a lie. Sadly it's not. Normally we have our regular sex thoughts. (i hope i don't suck. please don't let me cum too fast. dayum this pussy is good. will she notice if I fart?) But then there's the OTHER thoughts.

The next time you're with your man, make him keep the lights on. Why? You want to make sure you're the person he's with! When the lights go off, you turn into whatever his deepest, nastiest desire is. When you're giving him head, if he closes his eyes, you're gone! You've just been replaced with an Oriental woman in a Catholic school girl outfit. Trust me on this.

It gets deeper. You may think, 'so what'. Foolish foolish woman. If it was just thinking, it wouldn't drain him the way it does. While you're showing him how much you love him by putting his shriveled up foul smelling weiner where ever it is, he's doing things to his imaginary women that would make you feel dirtier than a trailer park shit house rat.

The amount of concentration it takes to keep these images alive is tremendous. Have you ever noticed that when he's doing his thing he never wants you to say anything? That's because your voice doesn't match the vision in his head. This is also why most men love it doggy style. We don't have to look at you! That ass we're pounding can belong to anyone!

You want to do something fucked up? Keep eye contact with your man at all times. Don't break it. Watch what it does to him. I guarantee he'll hate it.

Do what you will with this information. It's my job to bring it to you. What you do with it is up to you! Kingpin Out!

Once again, this post has nothing to do with the women in MY life.

I've found another weapon that women use in the sexual arena. This weapon is more effective than breast augmentation, liposuction, fellatio, and even bribery. What is this weapon you ask? Sound!

Seems crazy right? It's not. The military uses sound to make an enemy crumble. Why not women? Get your shovels and dig this.

While we men are in the act, doing our thing, wearing your back out, we have to concentrate. Porn legend Ron Jeremy used to think of dead dogs or his mother naked to keep his mind on the job, but off the feeling. As I've said in the past, men are simple creatures. All we need is friction. But when we learn to overcome how some of you women like to milk us dry, you ladies come out with some new shit.

For the most part, in my experience, my partners have been pretty quiet. Sometimes out of necessity. You don't want moms or pops ruining your groove because your partner can't keep her mouth shut. And the partners I had that were vocal, I always thought they were bullshitting. That's before I learned the finger theory. I'll explain.

Take a finger and put it in your ear. Now twist and turn it around. Feels good right? What feels better, your finger or your ear? If it hasn't already, it should be sinking in right about now...

Now that I've learned that women actually do enjoy sex, it started to make more sense to me. Most women are delicate, and the sex act can take a lot out of them. And being that most women don't want you to think that they're freaks, they tend to downplay sexuality. Even during the act of having sex. They'll hint as to what feels good, but they try not to be blatant about it.

There have been times when I was getting my stroke on, and by stroke on, I mean I was beating up the pussy. One of my favorite phrases is to say I was beating it up like a runaway slave. So there I am, putting in work, all the while wondering how the woman was feeling about it. I heard a few noises that seemed to say that she liked what I was doing, but nothing definate. Here's the part that got my feelings hurt. I was dating a woman whose sense of humar was similar to mine at the time. I actually asked her the dreaded question! I asked her: 'whose pussy is it'? She looked back at me, smiled, and asked me: 'why? you don't even know him!' Needless to say, playtime was over. I had nothing!

As I got older, I learned to ask better questions. 'do you like that?' 'does that feel good?' Things along those lines. Then it happened. I caught one that told the truth. She didn't even have t be prompted. She just came out and told me that the dick was good! HOLLA! I've been thinking it for years. Now I have proof! My ego was swelling. I was the man. Hell naw, I was the MANNNN! And that's when it happened...

I don't know what possessed this woman to reach between her legs and grab my door knockers. But when she did, shit changed really quick. She started moaning, and screaming, and telling me all types of shit! The dick is so good. This pussy is yours. Deeper.... I got so gassed off of what she was saying, that I lost all my poise, focus, and stamina at the same time! What the fuck is going on?

From the bowels of my very being, a noise came from me that was as yet unheard of. It wasn't just animal, it was feral, almost primal. My stroke, which was already near it's max, got even faster and deeper. For an instant in time, we were truly connected. Not just the physical, but the mental as well. Instead of laughing at me, she was encouraging me to keep it up. So I did. And when I finally splashed off, it was beyond words.

As incapacitated as I was, my partner seemed to have all the time to analyze my shit and store that shit in her mental Rolodex. Now when I'm taking too much time doing the damned thing, she starts in with the noise tactics. And it works everytime! I hate that!

With that being said, ladies, don't use this information against us. If you have a man that can give you the dick for an hour, maybe a bit longer, stay with that shit. Don't start Capt. Countdown on a brother. Once your mouth opens and starts saying the right shit, it's over. We're done, half asleep, and Pissed.

Most men judge their performance on a few things. One of them is her enjoyment factor. Amp it up. Let us know you appreciate the dick! The other thing is time. Let us think we've been in the pussy for an eternity. Even if was only for 34 minutes.

Shit, lost my train of thought, so I've got to leave you with this. I hope it makes some sense to you.

I was talking about it, so I figured I better follow through. With a little help from my friends, I am now a Premium Member! I don't feel any different though. There was no fanfare. No confetti. No scantily clad big breasted women. Hell, there isn't even anything that lets you guys know I'm a Premium Member. To be quite honest, I feel cheated!

I've been thinking of how to celebrate... I think I'm going to do some 'spring' cleaning. I'm going to check all the blogs that I regularly read. If I'm not listed on their list of blogs they like, I'm removing them from my list.

I know this seems juvenile, but I don't care. I'm a Premium Member now and I don't think that I should be consorting with non Premium Members. I've paid for my status, and I deserve any elitism that may come with it.

Adam, don't sweat this, I know you have your list hidden somewhere, and I know I'm on it.

Maybe I'm making too much of this, but even after I consented to do an interview for Lucy's blog, I find that I'm not listed. That hurts. Her blog is one of the best places to gain exposure. I'm sure that I probably got at least another 20 or so reads just by being mentioned there. As a matter of fact, I found a new blog to read there. See how it works? Or at least it's supposed to.

Ideally I should be able to navigate back to my blog from every blog on my list. Once I can accomplish that, I feel that I will have reached Blogstream nirvana. Or some shit.

So, if you're reading this, get off that $10.00 and rise up with me to Premium Status so we can thumb our noses at people together.