It took me a while, but I finally updated my video profile. Dayum, was I really that fat? Now I know for sure that some of you need to get your vision checked! I'm sexy now, but what did you see in the old me? Oh well. This one is different. I don't talk about my penis, flatulence, or any of my other favorite topics. It's still sort of humorous, but not as over the top as the previous one. Check me out!

'Nuff said I think.

Big Shane

I lost my job today. Not because I did anything wrong, the owner's insurance company is dropping him in 2 months. I deliver food for a living. I prefer to be called a food transportation specialist, not a delivery boy. But then again bums prefer to be called urban campers too. Reality is, I am what I am.

During my 4 years of delivering food for this man, I have gotten a few tickets for random things. It's bound to happen. When you're on the road 5 times more than the average person, you have that many more times to get caught doing something. It's not my fault. It's the law of averages.

I was bummed out about losing my job, then I got pissed. I actually read the letter the insurance company sent. They didn't say anything about dropping ME. They said that they wouldn't renew his policy without first obtaining my DMV record. They also said that they are no longer in the practice of insuring companies that have a delivery service.

He made it look like it was all my fault. Nothing was going to happen for 2 months anyway when his policy was up for renewal. That gives me 2 months to work doesn't it? How fucked up is that? 4 years down the toilet. I can't believe I stayed here this long and he doesn't even offer me a different position in the company. I could kill this man!

But I'm cool. I'm jobless. But I'm cool. I'm going to have to ask one of the many urban campers where they get their shit from. They never seem to look cold or hungry. And they all seem to ride the nicest bikes. This may not be your version of a bum, but I do live in CT... Even the bums have money.

Oh well. Everything happens for a reason. GOD doesn't give you more weight than you can handle. I'll get through this.

Big Shane

What is this? In the last two weeks I've had more innuendo and even direct game thrown at me than I can remember. It would appear that your humble narrator is a hottie. Now I know some of you may be thinking that I'm crazy or something, but how else can I explain the goings on?

You've all seen the pictures of me in my gallery. Nothing spectacular right? Sure, I make beautiful children, but me myself, I'm about average. Maybe a little below average. Not lately. Lately, I'm the fucking man! Women have been throwing me pussy through e-mail, instant messengers, and web-cam chat! It's insane! I've got pussy falling out of everywhere. (excuse me, could you pick that up for me)

Sure, I got my hair cut, and I managed to drop a few pounds here and there, but dayum, I didn't expect this. Women are falling completely in love with your boy!

I've already sworn myself to lil_angel (Trisha). Most of you know this already. When she's 18 or 21 it's on. But until then, I will live like she's mine already. I will not cheat on her, no matter how great the temptation.

So, that being said, ladies, you can't have me. At least not all of me. Check with Trisha and see exactly what she's willing to deal with.

And Summer, Fall, random girl who eats at my house, you already know the deal, so don't even trip!

Big Shane

I became what I think a lot of us here became. I turned into a comment whore. I was more worried about what you guys would write about what you read than I was about what I was writing. Fuck you guys! This is and was always supposed to be for and about me. You can choose not to read it if you wish. I can't choose not to write it. I need that outlet. I don't need your comments. Most of you don't have shit to say anyway! If you're one of those people, piss off. I neither need nor want your drivel taking up space where someone who really gives a shit about what I wrote can post a comment.

A while ago I started thinking that I had to be down with the whole blogstream 'family' to fit in. I was all up in the chatroom, socializing, and getting familiar with people. What the fuck was I thinking? I'm not sure if you know this, but a lot of you are really fucked in the head! I've seen people flaming each other in their posts. I've seen people telling people not to read certain blogs because (insert stupid reason here). Hell, I've even seen a guy try to start a petition to see a woman nekked. (wait, that was me...

All that aside. If you're one of those people who just have to comment on everyone's post, do it somewhere else. Leave my shit for the people that actually have something intelligent to say about what I wrote.

Case in point: As much as I love Adam, I don't comment on everything he writes. To be honest, sometimes I don't know what the fuck Adam is talking about. When that happens, I don't comment. That's how it should be. It doesn't mean I love him any less. It means he was on some other level shit that I couldn't reach. It was beyond my comprehension. Fuck it. It happens! I'm sure he doesn't always understand what the fuck I'm talking about. Hell, sometimes I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. How can you?

Sorry to put you out there Adam. I had to use someone that people know, who happens to have activated grey matter residing in their cranium.

Enough. My posts will be fewer in number, but greater in content. If you were offended by anything I wrote, I was probably writing about your ass. Deal with it. If you find what I had to say relevant, thank you. If you've gotten to this point and still don't have an opinion about it, you're a dumb ass, this blog isn't for you, piss off!

With that said, I'm leaving you now.

Big Shane