Girl Facts:

When a girl says she likes you,
she wants you to ask her out.

When u break a girls heart, she still feels
it when
bumping heads 3 years later

When a girl just stares deep into your
eyes, she's
HOPING that your hers and only hers ( it
shows
how much she cares: eyes never lie)

When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her
mind.

When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply. <-- or pissed shes wrong

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of
questions,
she is wondering how long you will be
around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after a
few
seconds,
she is not at all fine. <---

When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are so
wonderful.

When a girl lays her head on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl calls you everyday,
she is seeking for your attention.

When a girl wants to see you everyday,
she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says, "I'll love you forever, "
she means it.

When a girl says that she can't live
without you,
she has made up her mind that you are
her future.

When a girl says, "I miss you, "
no one in this world can miss you more
than that

When a girl is mean to you after a breakup
she wants you back, but she's
scared she'll get hurt and knows
your gone forever

Guy Facts:

When a guy calls u
he wants to be with you

When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you...

When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong

When a guy says, "I'm fine, " after a few
minutes,
he means it <-- true that

When a guy stares at you,
he wishes you would care about him and
wonders
if you do?

When you're laying your head on a guy's
chest
he has the world <-- or a good nap

When a guy calls you everyday
he is in love <--

When a (good) guy say he loves you
he means it

When a guy says he can't live without you
he's with you till your gone

When a guy says, "I miss you, "
he misses you more than you could have
ever
missed him or anything else

Take some of these with a grain of salt. I got this from Hetzie. I normally wouldn't post such drivel, but I do get good responses from this type of stuff. And it has some things that both men and women need to know about each other. Do with it what you will.

Big Shane

Women love me. Girls love me. Typically, I love them back. But it's a strange love. My internet honies love me the most. Why? We talk the most. I don't have time to fraternize with most people on the street, so when I do get to talk to a female, it's usually short. But my internet sweethearts (of which there is only one at the moment, she's an ANGEL), they get to see the real me. The sensitive me. They also get to see the nasty, perverted me. And they still love me. I don't get it. But then again, who gets women?

Get your shovel out & dig this. You've seen the pics in the gallery. I'm not the most handsomest guy in the world. I'm far from the ugliest, but there's a lot of room in between the two where I rest at. I'm that guy that you'll see out in public with a dime piece. When we walk by, heads turn. Usually to look at her. But sometimes it's on some other shit. I hear the comments. 'how did that fat bastard hook up with her?' That's when my girl says, '15 inches'. You should see the faces drop. I don't know where the hell she thinks I've got 15 inches, but I don't ask. I'm just glad she's got my back.

I don't understand how guys mess up so bad so often. I fuck up! Boy do I fuck up. I just don't fuck up as much as the average man. Why? Because I listen. That's all you have to do is just listen. If you just listen to the woman, you'll have so many less problems. But you can't just listen. After you listen, you have to do something with the shit you heard. This part is key! Trust me. Do this a few times. You'll be amazed at how 'attention' you'll get if you follow these simple guidelines.

I'm tired of giving you poor bastards all my knowledge and not getting anything back in return. If you want to keep getting these lessons, start giving me some positve feedback. We've got to help each other. It's us against them. This is not a battle we can afford to lose. So holla back at your boy.

Big Shane

Most men know these rules. Here they are in no certain order.

1. A man's family is sacred.
2. A man's mother is sacred.
3. A man's car is sacred.

If you have a conflict with someone, follow these simple rules and no matter what happens, you're assured that things are only going to get to a certain level. Break these rules and fear for you life. Or worse.

Why such a dark topic? Recently, a friend of mine and I got into a fight of sorts. It got heated. Words were exchanged. No big deal. There was some pushing and shoving. Again, no big deal. All was good until the friend took it too far. He took it to my car.

For a while, this friend was the only person to work on my car. He had my keys, car, and some valuables. Being smart, he decided not to touch the valuables. Instead, he did something really foul. He sabotaged my ride.

I guess in life if you're not tough, you have to be smart. This kid was smarter than I had ever given him credit for. He did so many things to my car in so many places, had I just driven the thing, I would never know what happened. Fortunately for me, the car got towed. Then it sat for just shy of a month. When I got it back, it was all fucked up. People I trust have told me that there was a very good possibility that I could have been hurt really bad if I tried to operate the vehicle. Now what do I do?

If I go to the kid's house and bash his face in, he'll call the cops. All the evidence I have would be good for nothing because it's all being fixed. I would look like a fool. So what do I do. I have some ideas, but they'll all get me locked up. Some of my ideas involve buyin his mother a black dress! I can't go out like that. What do you think I should do? How should I handle this? Holla Back.

Big Shane

I resisted watching this movie for a long time. I'm a man. Hell, I'm a He-Man Woman Hater! We don't do chick movies! Ever! Until we get threatened. And because we Woman Haters are such manly men, not just any threat will do. This was the ultimate threat... She threatened to put me on probation. Pussy probation. I don't know if you've ever been on it, but it can last a long time!

Anyhoo, I concede to watch this movie. Less than 5 minutes in, I can see who the fag is. I'm not threatened. If I had to, I could take him. The undercover fag was harder to discern. He was tricked into fagdom. Under the same circumstances, I would have killed the obvious fag, but that wouldn't make for good movie watching.

Needless to say, under fear of probation I watched the whole movie. I have to admit, it affected me. Every where I go, I see Broke Back situations, and I have to comment on them. Farts are now Broke Back mating calls. The worse the smell, the hornier the man. I will never look at fishing the same. Ever. Sheep, and any wool product now scare the hell out of me. The sound of a man expectorating raises the hairs on the back of my neck. Don't laugh, this shit is real!

I'm considering getting an alarm implanted subdermally. If anyone gets within 10 inches of my anus all types of things will happen. Not the least of which would be for certain muscles to start the process of constricting my fragile poop-chute. I'll be able to market and sell these things in all types of homophobic areas. People going to prison will be the best targets.

I just don't understand a few things. With all those sheep there, sheep that wouldn't and couldn't tell anyone they've been violated, why did undercover fag-boy have to become a stick-bumper? And after he got home and got some pussy, why did he keep pumping the other guy in the butt? Couldn't he just keep flipping his wife over and American Me-ing that ass?

Hetzie made me lose my train of thought. By now you should get the point, if there is one. I'm so lost, I have to quit. Until the next chic flic, I'm out.

Big Shane

My room mate of almost 3 years just left for Florida yesterday. I'm happy about it on one hand. She's doing an internship at Disney in one of their many hotels. I believe the name is the Grand Floridian. I don't know much about it, but it sounds really ostentatious. On the other hand I'm filled with grief. In our time together we became so much more than room mates. We were truly friends.

She was there for me through all the good and bad times I had with Ashley. I was there for her through her many escapes with this one or that one. We never judged each other. We just tried to help and be there for each other. Why can't everyone be like that?

We had planned to make the trip to Florida together. Her father and I were supposed to split the driving. That didn't happen. He came up with some piss poor excuses why I wouldn't be able to go. Then he just came out with it... He doesn't like me. Heather tried to stick up for me but was eventually given the ultimatum that we knew would come: Him or Me. Suprisingly, she chose me! Unfortunatly, I had no way to tow her car. Dad did.

Being that her father was not going to change his stance on the situation, I did. I backed off. It was the right thing to do. Heather didn't like it, but agreed. We enjoyed a few minutes talking shit about her father and were over it.

The night before she left I slept over her sister's house with her. It was so cool. We were together. We had to sleep on her sister's couch, but we didn't care. During the night she kicked me in the head. I awoke at one point on the floor underneath her. I gave her her customary back rub. We held hands, cried, and all that. You'd think we had once had a physical relationship. But you'd be wrong.

The love we share for each other is indeed a strange one. When she's going to be out later than one or two on the morning, she'll call me to let me know. When we shower, if we're not sharing the shower, you can usually find the other one sitting on the throne conversating with the person in the shower. But more often than not, we were together. Me washing her. Her giggling about me insisting we keep the lights off. I've seen her nekked many times, almost daily, but for some reason I like the shower to be dark. I didn't need light to 'see' her body.

Although we had our own rooms, bedtime didn't stop the togetherness. She could usually be found in my bed. Much to the chagrin of a few ladies in my life. They fully believed that there was nothing going on between us. The fact that I would choose to let her stay there instead of kicking her out for the person who was going to give me some was the part that killed them.

I don't pretend to understand it. It is what it is. At this point in her travels, she hasn't even gotten there yet. But I miss her like she's been gone for years.

Heather; I miss you, I love you, and I'll always be there for you. Don't forget your boy up north.

I know this is a bit off the mark for me, but I had to let it out. To the people who know Heather and I, sorry if you learned some shit you may or may not be comfortable with. Deal with it.

Enough with all this sentimental stuff. Misty, be nice. I'm out. See you all soon.

Big Shane