I have finally found it. After months and months of searching. I Wilson Fisk have found the rules of women. I do not claim to understand them. I believe they were made intentionally vague as to confuse us men. My only guess as to why there are so few of them, is because women are simple creatures. They like simple things, like ... men. So with no further ado here they are:
1.The female makes the rules.
2.The rules are subject to change by the female at any time without prior notification.
3.No male can possibly know all the rules. Attempts to document the rulesare not permitted.
4.If the female suspects that the male may know some or all of the rules,she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
5.The female is never wrong.
6.If the female is wrong, it is because of an gregarious misunderstandingwhich was the direct result of something the male did, said, did not do,or did not say.
7.If rule 6 is invoked, the male must apologize immediately for having been the cause of the misunderstanding without any clues from the female as to what he did to have caused the misunderstanding. See rule 13.
8.The female may change her mind at any time for any reason or no reason at all.
9.The male is never permitted to change his mind under any circumstances without the express written consent of the female which is given only in cases where the female wanted him to change his mind but gave no indication of that wish. See rules 6, 7, 12, and 13.
10.The female has the right to be angry or upset for any reason, real or imagined, at any time and under any circumstance which in her sole judgement she deems appropriate. The male is not to be given any sign of the root cause of the female's being angry or upset. The female may, however, give false or misleading reasons to see if the male is paying attention. See rule 13.
11.The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
12.Under no circumstances may the female give the male any clue or
indication whether or why she wants him to be angry or upset.
13.The male is expected to read the mind of the female at all times.
Failure to do so will result in punishments and penalties imposed at the sole discretion of the female.
14.The female may, at any time and for any reason, resurrect any past
incident without regard to temporal or spacial distance, and modify,
enlarge, embellish, of wholly reconstruct it in order to demonstrate to the male that he is now or has in the past been wrong, insensitive, pig-headed, dense, deceitful, and/or oafish.
15.The female may use her interpretation of any past occurrence to
illustrate the ways in which the male has failed to accord her the
consideration, respect, devotion, or material possessions, he has
bestowed on other females, domestic pets or barnyard animals, sports
teams, automobiles, motorcycles, boats, aircraft, or coworkers. Such
illustrations are non-rebuttable.
16.If the female is experiencing PMS, Post-PMS, or Pre-PMS, the female is permitted to exhibit any manner of behaviors she wishes without regard to logical consistency or accepted norms of human behavior.
17.Any act, deed, word, expression, statement, utterance, thought,
opinion, or belief by the male is subject to the sole, subjective
interpretation of the female, other external factors not-withstanding. Alibis, excuses, explanations, defenses, reasons, extenuations, or rationalizations will not be entertained. Object please for mercy and forgiveness are acceptable under some circumstances, especially when accompanied by tangible evidence of contrition.
I've got the best lawyers money can buy working on these rules, to try and understand them. As of yet they've come up empty handed. This could be why women make better lawyers. Lawyers being the work of the devil, proves that women are evil. But if you read my blog regularly, you already know that. Coincidentally(?), no female lawyer was willing to work with me on this. Hmmm.
Fisk: OUT!
Okay, I was just looking for a reason to put my biznalls back on the web! 
